The Setlist Solution

An algorithm

Hello. You’ve reached Time & Temperature.

Here’s how you make a setlist.

Start with a banger.

Then follow that with two more bangers.

Wait! I should start at the beginning. Get spiral notebook with a spine of metal rings large enough to accommodate a Sharpie. You’ll want to keep that spine loaded with a Sharpie at all times. Only thick black ink will be visible in the inevitably dim light between songs.

Please don’t print out your setlist. This thing is a talisman and will become a keepsake for some lucky fan. You can scan and print the handwritten original, but let’s please keep some humanity in the ancient art of setlist-making.

Also, I recommend keeping the original in the notebook so you can refer back to it. Over the years you’ll accumulate dozens of these notebooks which become little time machines taking you back to the gigs of your past. And you can always use the setlist from some glorious remembered performance to inspire the setlist you create for tonight’s show.

Okay, once again, start with three bangers.

This triumvirate is your Opening Salvo, and at least two of these first three bangers should be absolute fan-favorites. Throwing in an underrated/overlooked up-tempo number is often a good move because it signals to the audience that you’re not just giving them the obvious shit—you’re gonna dig deep tonight. Now, I know there is a whole “start quiet and build” school of thought out there, but the setlist-makers who promote this philosophy are lazy turds who aren’t serious about the job of entertainment. Three bangers—it wakes the audience up and it wakes you up.

For your cleanup 4-slot you’re gonna wanna go down in volume and energy. Your first banter of the evening might precede this song, but keep it short and sweet—you’re building momentum here! This fourth tune should be well-known and somewhat beloved, no super-deep cuts here. You want the audience to catch their breath and reset but not to check their phones or feel compelled to google on which album they can find this random song. You’re still earning their trust.