YES More Poems!

An outtake from my book of kids’ poems

Hello. You’ve reached Time & Temperature.

A few years back, my illustrator friend Dan Santat and I released a book called No More Poems, which was pretty much the greatest book ever written—ask any fifth grader. Once we had finished putting it all together, I had a few poems that didn’t make the cut for one reason or another. I’d like to share just such an unreleased poem with y’all here today.

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The World’s Greatest Yogi

The world’s greatest yogi

Was holding a difficult pose

When a tiny bead of sweat

Started trickling down his nose

He wanted to ignore it

But it tickled something fierce

And two more beads of sweat

Started rolling down his ears

He inhaled and he exhaled

And he focused on the floor

Where a tiny little ant

Was just beginning to explore

That magic little juncture

Where the crescent moon did show

Where the yogi’s toenail grew

Atop the yogi’s left big toe

He inhaled and he exhaled

As more beads of sweat appeared

And the world’s greatest yogi

Felt very very weird

His tummy did a flip flop

And his yogi heart rate rose

Why was he holding

Such a difficult pose

The ant was circling ‘round and ‘round

Beginning his ascent

The sweat was trickling downwards

Tickling as it went

The yogi must do SOMETHING

But he didn't know what

Before long they'd convene

In the vicinity of his butt

Just then his one leg quivered

And his one arm gave a jerk

And suddenly this pose felt like

An AWFUL LOT OF WORK

As he tumbled to the floor

The truth dawned upon him slowly

There's no such thing

As the world’s greatest yogi

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Why did The World’s Greatest Yogi not fit into a book of poems geared towards grade-school readers? I’ll never understand. Are they more into pilates at that age? Anyway… I always thought it was a good poem, with maybe a secret Buddhist lesson buried in the silliness. If any of y’all wind up reading it to your kids, I’d love to hear their review.

yrs,

Rhett

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PS (Yes. You guessed it. Once again that’s a Dan Santat original at the top of the newsletter. He rules.)