14 Comments

I am late to commenting on this one, but it brought up a question that I have wondered a couple times over the years… If an Old 97’s or Rhett Miller solo cover of “Lover” by Taylor Swift might be coming. Some thing about the songwriting and the tempo and the vocals on that track just seem like it would be a perfect match

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This entry just slayed me. Not only because of my husband's similar relationship to our daughter (she made a video of pictures for him set to Taylor's "The Best Day", and he never fails to cry when he watches it) but also my relationship to both my daughter and son. You described it in a way I never could. That is something Soleil will always remember and I imagine that many years from now, hearing "You Belong To Me" will also bring a tear to her eye.

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Wonderful, Rhett! Sharing our responses to music and literature - rhythm, prose, lyrics - allows us to experience our humanity, understand our emotions and improve the quality of our attachment relationships. Bravo, Daddio!

That said, I also listened to Taylor Swift with my young daughter. She indulged me when I would follow up a TS set with a dose of Madonna songs. Now a young woman in her early twenties, my daughter recently attended her first Madonna concert. Both artists are strong successful females. Interesting how today some critics are saying that Swift’s new album is “too familiar” and that she’s “culturally ubiquitous” (newyorker.com). Hmmm, I remember when the critics said the same about Madonna. But I digress! Anyway, today I followed my listening of TS’s Tortured Poets with Madonna’s “Live to Tell” and then, heck, the whole True Blue album, followed by American Primitive. 💕🎶

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Dr. Miller, I need your help.

I too am a loving dad of a 17 year-old Swiftie who will be heading to college in September. I too tear up when thinking about her next step in life, listening with her to early Taylor songs like "15". I long to be as great a dad as you clearly are to Soleil.

Yet today I awoke with acute TDS: Taylor Desensitization Syndrome.

Last night in the company of my Swiftie kid and her Swiftie mom I listened politely out of love and obligation to 10 of the new Taylor songs. My kid was singing along, having memorized the lyrics in the 17 hours since it had been released (6 of which she had spent physically at school).

Several were very good and several more could grow on me.

But... Every song is such a dramatic passionate lament or attack based on her personal experience. Each track taken on its own can be quite powerful. Taken together however, as I must in the presence of my child, they are . . . a bit much.

People at this moment throughout the world - as always - are being raped and murdered, dying of starvation, heading to deaths of despair because they have never had a chance in life, crushed by circumstances over which they have no control ... and Taylor is writing an anthem about Kim Kardashian gaslighting her.

This is a totally unfair old guy/get off my lawn criticism. I'm similarly self-absorbed when I write. To be artistic is to be self-absorbed, and for good reason. And if I step away for only a couple of days I suspect that I can come back and appreciate Taylor's artistry.

But I am unable to step away! 2024 is 1984 and Big Sister is EVERYWHERE. Resistance is futile.

I will STFU in the presence of my kid and her friends. Yet in my heart I resist. It's me. Hi, I'm the problem, it's me.

SEE? HELP!!!!!

- Name withheld for fear of retribution

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Very insightful and touching, Rhett. Daughters are different. Sounds like you and your children have solid relationships. I love that you stay current and connected with what they are experiencing! Good Dad!

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I am the daughter of a fabulous dad, just like Soleil, and with one older brother! My dad was always my favorite human, and I’d never have thought it possible, at 18, that our relationship would get stronger and deeper as the years went on. It’s hard to imagine when the empty nest is the most present challenge. But you have each other forever. And it will continue to be wonderful.

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I remember the days when Max was a toddler singing “I want my baby back!” Can’t believe your kids are grown. You guys are good parents, you did a great job. Your kids seem like good, kind, loving people. It’s cool you can bond with your daughter over music. It’s very sweet.

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I’m not crying…

That was very sweet❤️

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This fills my heart. I'm so glad my girls love music, and anticipate new songs, albums, and shows as much as I do. They practically grew up in front rows at Old 97's/Rhett Miller shows, with a healthy dose of OK Go and the Fratellis thrown in, and I am just as spellbound by My Chemical Romance as they are. Teen years can be so....fraught, I guess; it's beautiful to have something that makes you happy together. Bonding through music seems almost primal in humans :)

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I obviously can’t speak for Soleil, but as a soon-to-be-graduated son of two loving parents, these feelings and moments tend to go both ways whether we show it or not.

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I just forwarded this to my daughters, both big Taylor Swift fans since the beginning. It’s so touching, Rhett. I can’t believe Max is 20! My younger daughter turned 30 last week and gets married next week. I’m sure there will be Taylor Swift music at the wedding.

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Music has been such an amazing bond for Norah and me. She’s been my concert buddy for the past 10 years since our 1st Old 97’s show together for the Most Messed Up tour. She’s also graduating from high school, which makes me sad, and nostalgic, and excited. Also, we take her impending move as a reason to expand the cities in which we concert together.

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My husband listened all day today for the same reason. Our daughter is almost sixteen and sharing Taylor with her is such a joy! I’ll never be able to listen to Fifteen without crying and frankly I wouldn’t want to. And I love to hear other songwriters comment on Taylor Swift’s craft. Game recognize game, right?!

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My youngest is graduating too and it’s kind of hard. But it’ll be OK Rhett. New adventures await. ❤️

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